为了提高托福写作水平,让自己的托福写作分数更高,同学们使出了浑身解数,很多同学考虑的是如何应用经典美句,如何使用高级复杂词汇以及所谓高级的句式语法,却时常忽略要先打好基础。智课网小编为考生准备了托福写作185题库独立范文及解析,考生可以通过学习范文来掌握某些表达的正确用词,也能吸取经验,找到托福高分作文的技巧,希望对广大考生有帮助。【185题库免费下载】

  Some people choose friends who are different form themselves. Others choose friends who are similar to themselves. Compare the advantages of having friends who are different from you with the advantages of having friends who are similar to you. Which kind of friend do you prefer for yourself? Why?

  There are many advantages to having friends who are different from you. Having diverse friendships will give you a different way of looking at the world. Friends who are different can introduce you to ideas and things you’ve never tried, seen or thought of before. If you’re a spontaneous kind of person, someone who is more scheduled can help you get better organized. You, on the other hand, can help them let their hair down and do things more on the spur of the moment.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,即我们应当找一些与我们不同类型的朋友。之后对其原因进行了解释。

此段功能

本段是文章首段,引出要讨论内容,帮助作者陈述观点,摆明立场。

  Someone who is different from you won’t have the same reaction to situations. If you’re the kind of person who gets very impatient easily, it helps to have someone to keep you calm. If you’re a more outgoing person, then your more introverted friends can teach you about introspection.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,即与你性格不同的朋友在相同的情况下与你的反应是不同的。后面两句话对主旨进行了简要分析,这有很多好处,比如性格急躁的人遇到耐心的人会让他变得冷静。是分情况的假设讨论。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。

  However, there can also be advantages to having friends who are similar to you. You usually enjoy doing the same things and have many things in common. Sometimes it’s fun to experience new things. Other times, it’s more fun to do something familiar. On the whole, I think I’d like to have a lot of acquaintances who are different and a few close friends who are similar to me.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,支持了交同类朋友。后面对此进行了简要分析。最后一句话收束总结,重申论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持交同类朋友,与上一段相反。并对全文进行了收束总结,重申论点。

  满分要素剖析

  一、 语言表达

  1. Having diverse friendships will give you a different way of looking at the world. 本文由于题材的原因,用到了很多高级的形容词来形容人的性格的多面性。这句话在句子结构上看似单一,但是diverse这个词的出现可以让考官眼前一亮,因为它是different的同义词,而开篇第二句话就避免了用词的重复性,这种方法非常值得学习。并且如果从句意上理解的话,这句话不仅仅停留在讨论朋友同类或异类的好处,而是把异类朋友的作用阐明了,真好衔接了第一句话,在提出观点后立即给予解释,不会让读者感到半点迷惑。这句话在更深一层面的意思是与不同的朋友在一起会影响你的世界观。影响人类世界观的因素出了我们从小受到的教育和经历的事情,更大一部分外因是周围的人给我们的影响。所以作者在第一段就把问题讨论到如此深度,非常赢得考官的青睐。

  2. Friends who are different can introduce you to ideas and things you’ve never tried, seen or thought of before. 这句话是个两个定语从句的写作惯用方法。主干是 Friends can introduce you to ideas and things, 剩下的两部分都是定语从句,第一个who are different修饰friends,第二个you’ve never tried, seen or thought of before.修饰things,省略了引导词that。作者在这里从句里面采用了并列排比的写法。如果是换一种普通的写法,是这样的,Different people can introduce you to ideas and things you’ve never thought of before.意思上没有问题,但是相比于第一种写法就少了些细节支撑。

  3. If you’re a spontaneous kind of person, someone who is more scheduled can help you get better organized. 这句话spontaneous为即兴的意思,之后的反义对应为scheduled和organized,这两个单词均为有条理的意思,作者只要清扫一眼,就明白了笔者在这里是在写不同类朋友之间带来的好处,正面态度词better,说明作者支持different friends。

  4. You, on the other hand, can help them let their hair down and do things more on the spur of the moment. 这句话里面有个俚语表达用得非常到位,let one’s hair down意思是随便,放松的意思,这来源于17实际早期的故事,因为当时人们都把头发盘起来,所以头发散下来就显得很不正式,很随意,英文故事介绍:To let one’s hair down is an idiom used to describe letting go of your inhibitions or to behave casually or informally. For instance when two sisters meet up they would let their hair down and discuss all their problems. The expression dates back to the 17th century when letting one’s hair down was a common part of daily life. Hair, in those days, was normally pinned up and let down for washing or brushing. 之后的表达on the spur of the moment意为即兴间的意思,spur意为加速,激励,鞭策。那么在加速的时刻就是即兴的意思了。这句话同义替换上文的表达spontaneous。

  二、 逻辑结构

  本篇作文在逻辑结构上依然简单明了,第一段作者开门见山地提出自己的主观喜好,即倾向和不同性格的朋友在一起,因为这样有很多advantages,于是第一二段就写出了支持这种观点的论据,举了一些例子证明。第三段,作者为了保持客观的态度,所以谈及到了在一些情况下有几个性格相似的朋友也是非常有用的,而且一起做一样的事情是非常有趣的,最后作者提出一个比较中立的观点,即On the whole, I think I’d like to have a lot of acquaintances who are different and a few close friends who are similar to me.

【托福写作在线批改】

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