为了提高托福写作水平,让自己的托福写作分数更高,同学们使出了浑身解数,很多同学考虑的是如何应用经典美句,如何使用高级复杂词汇以及所谓高级的句式语法,却时常忽略要先打好基础。智课网小编为考生准备了托福写作185题库独立范文及解析,考生可以通过学习范文来掌握某些表达的正确用词,也能吸取经验,找到托福高分作文的技巧,希望对广大考生有帮助。

  Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support our answer.

  Dangerous sports or activities attract a certain type of person. This person is often a risk taker, an optimist, and a fatalist.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。第一句话是作者本文主论点,第二句话引出下文。

此段功能

本段是一个总分的结构。第一句话是作者本文主论点,第二句话引出下文。

  People who take risks are found both in dangerous sports and business. But it is a special person who takes a risk with his own life as opposed to his money. My father was a risk taker. He put everything be owned into his business, but he stopped playing risky sports like horseback riding and skiing. Once his business was a success and he no longer had to worry about providing for us, he returned at the age of 60 to the risky sports that he did as a youth.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一、二句话即点明了主旨。后面补充了作者父亲的例子用以佐证这个分论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。

  People who play dangerous sports must be optimists. They cannot imagine that anything will happen to them. They never think about breaking their leg while skiing, falling off a cliff while rock climbing, falling on their head while sky diving. They live for the thrill of the moment without a thought to the many things that could go wrong.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。

  Rock climbers and sports car drivers must be fatalists. They might plan for potential problems, but once they have done everything they can do, the outcome is out of their hands. When a motorcyclist must jump across a narrow canyon, he or she will get the fastest, strongest bike available that will carry him or her across the canyon; however, wind conditions or other problems might interfere and the cyclist my fall short of his goal.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。主要是针对登山人的例子展开的。

此段功能

本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。

  Many people have the same traits of course. Many of us are risk takers, optimists and fatalists. But I think people who play dangerous sports must have these characteristics in abundance.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段只有三句话。第一、二句话承接上文,第三句话是对整篇文章正文段的概括并重申论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的尾段,承接上文,重申论点。

  满分要素

  一、语言表达

  本文的用词新颖、准确,让人眼前一亮,能从普通的文章中脱颖而出。

  1. This person is often a risk taker, an optimist, and a fatalist. 这句话的亮点在于运用了排比的手法,并列三个表语,值得赞扬的是,作者在之后的正文段落对这三个并列的定义分别进行了详尽的陈述。

  2. But it is a special person who takes a risk with his own life as opposed to his money. 这句话是个在写作中极少出现的强调句型,it is…who, 强调的是a special person。

  3. Once his business was a success and he no longer had to worry about providing for us, he returned at the age of 60 to the risky sports that he did as a youth. 这句话的主句为后半句,写作亮点在returned to,返回的意思,一般的用法是对return空间上的返回,而这里用了时间上的返回,让读者联想到“时光机”,由于父亲对家庭的付出,使得他不得不放弃年轻时期的risky sports,转为经商,但是后期不需要再为经济困扰时,父亲又好像回到了年轻时候,开始了对risk sports的追求。

  4. They never think about breaking their leg while skiing, falling off a cliff while rock climbing, falling on their head while sky diving. think about为考虑的意思,这种考虑的程度要大于think of, 另外,这句话在时间状语部分运用了省略和并列,句子的原型是They never think about breaking their leg while they are skiing, falling off a cliff while they are rock climbing, falling on their head while they are sky diving. 由于主语和从句主语一致,所以省略了从句的主谓,并列的是think about的宾语,都是在运动中出现的意外现象,描写的很生动,是因为全部用了动词的ing形式,如breaking,falling off,falling on。值得一提的是,fall off和fall on意思并不一样,off是离开的意思,后面的宾语为cliff,直译就是在悬崖边上离开了,言外之意就是从山边掉了下去,很是危险。而后面的on是在…之上,宾语为their head,直译为落在头上,言外直译就是头碰到地面了。作者能用一句话把三种危险事故都进行了描述,可见写作功底的深厚。

  5. They live for the thrill of the moment without a thought to the many things that could go wrong. 这句话亮点在于without a thought to …作者避开了通俗的动词用法来表示考虑和思考,由于前文已经出现了动词的表达,如think about,所以才用了新的替换写法,用名词代替a thought to…that…后面还加上了从句,从而加长了句子的长度,意思也表达的很清楚。另一种写法为They never mind dangerous and unexpected things that can happen to them, because they live for the thrill of the moment.

  二、逻辑结构

  文章采用正正正的大正论述结构,分别三个冒险家需要的特性的三个角度来论述的,简单易懂,结构清晰。文章每一个段落内都是总分结构,非常中规中矩,而且举了一些冒险者或者生活中(作者的父亲)的例子,使得论证逻辑严谨,内容丰富。

【托福写作在线批改】

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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