为了提高托福写作水平,让自己的托福写作分数更高,同学们使出了浑身解数,很多同学考虑的是如何应用经典美句,如何使用高级复杂词汇以及所谓高级的句式语法,却时常忽略要先打好基础。智课网小编为考生准备了托福写作185题库独立范文及解析,考生可以通过学习范文来掌握某些表达的正确用词,也能吸取经验,找到托福高分作文的技巧,希望对广大考生有帮助。

  What are some important qualities of a good supervisor(boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

  Even though job situations can be very different, there are several qualities that all good supervisors have in common. A good boss treats all employees fairly. A good employer won’t single out one employee for better (or worse) treatment than the others. A poor supervisor has favorites. Sometimes an employer will even use her favorites to spy on other employees in order to find out what the others are saying about their work. This can cause a lot of bad relationships and suspicion among employees.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是文章的首段,属于总分总结构。首先提供了一些要讨论问题的背景和引入。接下来作者对此进行简单分析。进而得出作者自己对这个问题的看法和论点。

此段功能

本段是文章首段,对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和社会上激烈讨论的话题,然后点明了作者立场,并提出论点。

  A good supervisor gives clear and understandable directions and doesn't constantly change his/her mind about what he/she wants employees to do. A good employer also doesn't get angry with an employee who is confused and needs another explanation of the directions. Delegating authority well is another quality of a good supervisor. Knowing how to use the skills of employees to the best advantage is a necessary tool for employers. A poor supervisor insists on doing everything his/herself and is unwilling to give any authority to others.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分结构,一开始就点明了本段的分论点,为后文论述进行了铺垫。后面都是展开了对这个分论点的详细分析。段落中间没有分层,结构比较简单。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。

  A good boss evaluates employees on a reasonable set of criteria, not on how he/she feels about them personally. By letting the employees know what those criteria are, they they have a more fair chance of meeting the expectations of the workplace.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分结构,一开始就点明了本段的分论点,为后文论述进行了铺垫。后面都是展开了对这个分论点的详细分析。本段可以分成两层看。第一层写了一个优秀的老板的特质,那么后面用一个能力不行的老板作对比,利用这种对比凸显了好老板的特性。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。

  A good employer gives both praise and criticism in a straightforward manner and offers guidance when needed. A poor supervisor will criticize without giving any suggestions on how to improve.

  Most importantly, a good supervisor set the standards for employees by his/her own behavior. A good model employer works hard and treats employees like valuable assets to the company. This promotes good morale among workers, creating great benefit for business.

  满分因素剖析:

  一、语言方面

  本文的语言使用非常优美,句式富于多变,长短句搭配合理,运用了大量从句和非谓语动词结构,使考官眼前一亮。而在用词上,作者也十分下功夫,作者使用很多高级词汇和固定搭配短语,地道而准确,表达生动,凸显了作者的很厉害的语言功底。这些都使得文章更加吸引考官的眼球

  1. Sometimes an employer will even use her favorites to spy on other employees in order to find out what the others are saying about their work.

  此句中,spy与我们常认识的名词意思“间谍”不同,这里作动词,表示“监视”,类似的用法还有“inspect, supervise”。In order to引导的成分做主句的目的状语,表示“为了...”,可以用in order that或者so as that 引导的目的状语从句替代。

  2. A poor supervisor insists on doing everything his/herself and is unwilling to give any authority to others.

  此句中,insist on doing everything前面省略了that,引导定语从句,修饰supervisor。动词短语insist on的意思“坚持做某事”,后面接动词的ing形式或者直接跟名词,同样的表达还有“be stick to,persist in”。这些短语在托福作文中有这很大的使用空间,尤其是论述成功与失败的文章,大家不妨记住这种表达。

  3. This promotes good morale among workers, creating great benefit for business.

  此句中,用到高级词汇“morale”,意思是“士气”,在描述leadership的文章中,这个词会有较高的使用频率。后半句的creating great benefit for business是非谓语动词做状语的伴随结构。原句可以写成This promotes good morale among workers. This creat great benefit for business.当两句话主语相同时,就可以两句和一句,去掉第二句的主语,把第二句的动词换成非谓语动词的变成伴随结构。

  4. A good employer gives both praise and criticism in a straightforward manner and offers guidance when needed.

  句中,短语in straightforward manner意思是用“一种直白的方式”,in ... Manner,表示“以...的方式,以...的态度”常见的用法还有in good manner。Needed前面省略了it is,在状语从句中,这种省略主语和系动词的用法很常见,可以使句子更加简练。

  二、逻辑结构

  本文采用正正正的结构,三个正面的支持段落构成了本文完全支持的大正基调,结构简单,逻辑清晰。本文三个段落是递进的关系,层层深入。最后一个段落写了Most importantly,对于一个supervisor最重要的特质。这种层进式的结构让文章脉络鲜明,内容充实。文章很少使用长难句,都是使用的比较简单的句子,但是句式多变。而且,文章也没有使用过多的大词,难词,比起一些比较卖弄辞藻、故弄玄虚的文章来说,多了一分平实,也更加易懂。但是句式多变又让文章极具可读性。

【托福写作在线批改】

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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