为了提高托福写作水平,让自己的托福写作分数更高,同学们使出了浑身解数,很多同学考虑的是如何应用经典美句,如何使用高级复杂词汇以及所谓高级的句式语法,却时常忽略要先打好基础。智课网小编为考生准备了托福写作185题库独立范文及解析,考生可以通过学习范文来掌握某些表达的正确用词,也能吸取经验,找到托福高分作文的技巧,希望对广大考生有帮助。

  Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

  If you have a good neighbor, you are a lucky person. You have someone who cares about your needs and your property, who is helpful in the little day-to-day situations that come up, and who is supportive in times of crisis.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段第一句话对观点进行了引入,告诉了我们文章写作是在讨论邻居的问题。后面是对这个问题的进一步阐述,阐述了什么样的邻居是好邻居,引领和概括下文。

此段功能

本段是文章首段,对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和话题,然后点明了作者立场,并提出论点,并概括下文。

  A good neighbor is someone who, for instance, understands that your children may occasionally run across his lawn, even though you tell them not to. He'll realize that children can be careless about things like that, and he won't make a big fuss about it unless it becomes a regular thing. In the same vein, he knows that you'll understand if some of the trash from his trash cans blows across into your yard. In other words, he understands about the unintentional things that can happen and doesn't make a big deal about them.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个分总的结构。本段分成两部分。第一部分:首先第一句话告诉了我们一个生活中的例子。第二部分对这个例子进行了详细的分析,进而引出了作者对这个问题的看法,重申论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。

  A good neighbor is also respectful of your property. For example, he asks your permission before doing anything that interferes with what's yours. This means he wouldn't plant a huge tree in between your houses without asking how you feel about it. If she wanted to put up a fence, she would let you know first. She might work with you to decide where it should be placed. Maybe the two of you would even split the cost.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面是补充的一个例子,生动具体,帮助论证了这个观点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。

  A good neighbor would lend you some milk if you ran out . He'd give you a ride to work if your car was broken, and let your children stay at his house in the evening if you got stuck working overtime. You would do the same for him. Both of you would help make the other's life easier. When something really awful happens to you, like a death in the family, a good neighbor will volunteer to help in any way he can. This could mean something small, like making some casseroles to put in your freezer to feed visiting relatives; or it could mean something big, like helping you get through the sadness of the funeral.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个分总的结构。本段分为两个部分。第一部分是补充的一个例子,生动具体,帮助论证了这个观点。接下来是对例子的总结,得出了本段的分论点,即邻居之间的互相帮助。第二部分进一步递进地说,当我们遇到一些重大事情需要帮助的时候,邻居就会帮我们更多。这两步递进证实了本段的分论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。

  I think only someone who has experienced a bad neighbor can really appreciate a good one! A good neighbor can be a good friend and make all the difference in the world to your life.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段只有两句话。第一句话对上文进行了承接和总结。第二句话重申了本文主论点,即一个好邻居可以帮助我们改变生活,对我们非常重要。

此段功能

本段是文章的尾段,对上文进行了承接,并对论点进行了概括分析,最后重申论点,让文章更加立场明确。

  满分因素剖析:

  一、语言表达

  本文语言通顺,表达清晰。作者熟练使用定语从句,宾语从句,条件状语从句的复合句结构,句式富于变化。同时,作者大量使用了了虚拟语气来表达一个好邻居可能起到的作用,彰显了作者的语言功力。

  1. You have someone who cares about your needs and your property, who is helpful in the little day-to-day situations that come up, and who is supportive in times of crisis.

  本句中,三个who引导定语从句,做名词someone的定语,起修饰作用。在结构上,本句出现在文中第一段的结尾,三个并列的who后面直接跟着三个分论点,后面三段便围绕着这三个主题展开。此句起到了承上启下的重要作用。

  2. He'd give you a ride to work if your car was broken, and let your children stay at his house in the evening if you got stuck working overtime.

  此句是if引导的虚拟语气,一种比较高级的语法,表达了作者对于可能发生情况的一种假设。虚拟语气的格式为 if+过去时,主语+would do.虚拟语气在写作中的应用非常广泛,既可以表达一种推测,又可以表达对于当前现象的不满。结合文章,此虚拟语气句对可能发生的情况做出大胆假设,概括了作者的观点,同时抓住了读者的眼球。

  3. This could mean something small, like making some casseroles to put in your freezer to feed visiting relatives; or it could mean something big, like helping you get through the sadness of the funeral.

  此句中,动词此句get through的意思是“经历,通过”,后面接名词,可以跟“sadness, difficulty”等表示“痛苦,困难”的词,表示“从困难中走出”。另外,此句出现了并列结构,this could mean, like的句子重复出现了两次。与以往并列结构不同的是,这两句话一个说的是小处,一个说的是大处,并列中暗含对比,起到层层递进的作用。大家可以记住这种写法,在表达层层递进的关系时使用这个句型。

  二、逻辑结构

  本文的结构是正正正的大正型支持结构,简单易懂,逻辑严谨,结构清晰。而且用词比较简单,长难句少,长难词也少,值得我们模仿学习。文章段落展开非常充分。拿最后一个正面段落举例,这个段落是一个分总型的递进段落。段里可以分出来两个部分,第一个部分是补充的一个例子,生动具体,帮助论证了这个观点。接下来是对例子的总结,得出了本段的分论点,即邻居之间的互相帮助。第二部分进一步递进地说,当我们遇到一些重大事情需要帮助的时候,邻居就会帮我们更多。这两步递进证实了本段的分论点。

【托福写作在线批改】

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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